Life is a whole lot of work. Whether its mothering, working a full-time job, being a wife or all of the above. One with or without the other takes a lot of energy and emotional preparation. Unfortunately there aren’t any classes that tell us how to prepare physically and emotionally for maintaining a home fit for children, learning to meet the needs of another person when you aren’t taking care of your own needs, or trying to keep your personal dreams alive even though your ten years (or more) off schedule from where you thought you would be by now. Now add the fact that finances aren’t spreading like peanut butter. Your used to be best friend is a stranger. You don’t like the things that you used to love and familiar comforts have now become barren lands.
I remember sitting at the kitchen table one day dying to write without interruption. I was so determined that I walked right pass the bathroom without clean towels. Instead of picking up the toys that littered the hallway I just stepped right over them and kept on moving. I went for the chocolate cereal instead of eggs and toast even though we all needed a hot breakfast. I was determined to do something for me! Me! Me! Me! And after all of this I sat down at my laptop and couldn’t bring myself to write one full sentence. My mind was too cluttered to get any work done. After wasting my morning trying to create beauty in the midst of chaos, I finally decided to close the laptop, take care of my household duties and give the kids some extra hugs and kisses. A frustrating morning then turned into a pretty good day. I ended up with the peace of mind I needed to follow through on other commitments.
I have small children that need constant tending to. My husband is domestically challenged. I’m working to create a life that fulfills my physical, spiritual and emotional needs; though at times I am still confused about what it’s going to take to keep my heart smiling. I’m dealing with all of the losses I’ve taken and trying to put myself in a situation where the next few years of my life will allow more gains. I’m in rebuilding mode in a foreign land where I haven’t stopped to notice that I have to wear different clothes for this type of weather. I’ve been wearing California clothes in Alaska weather and if I don’t accept the changes and adjust to the weather I’m going to freeze to death.
For the first time since getting married, starting a blended family and having more kids I had accepted and embraced the fact that it’s not going to be easy breezy, willow trees, pink butterflies, and lavender clouds. Life as this adult woman is hard. By accepting it my days have actually become easier even though my workload is still the same (if not bigger). I wake up now ready to fulfill my responsibilities, organize my mind and time so that everything can get done, and even set aside some down time. I have accepted the fullness of my life and its requirements. That shift in thinking has given me more energy and helped me to handle my days with love.
I am a busy, multi-faceted woman. I have a lot responsibilities. I’m still growing into the woman I want to be. I’m adjusting to new situations, environments, and emotions. I’m accepting and allowing change. It’s hard at times, but it’s worth it. And I can handle it.
….From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.